Its just RETROPLAY

2010-01-07T00:05:00.001-08:00

re-link to

fueledbyicecream.blogspot.com

thanks

im sorry

2010-01-04T19:00:00.000-08:00

ok ok.
this is the last time i promise.

WILL BE SWITCHING BACK TO BLOGSPOT NOW
BECAUSE ONSUGAR IS NOT FREAKING USER-FRIENDLY
PLUS THE UGLY LAYOUT MAKES BLOGGING A TURN OFF

THEREFORE,

UGLY LAYOUT+NOT USER FRIENDLY= LAZY TO BLOG + SWITCHING TO BLOGSPOT

:):)

2009-11-22T04:35:00.000-08:00

the blog is dead:):)
re-link to

glitterandrockandroll@onsugar.com

We are just kids in love

2009-10-24T20:03:00.001-07:00

Oohh. i've been so busy the whole week that i forgot about

this lil' space here:(

won't be updating regularly for a while cause A's are coming

(not nervous about it though.. could be a bad sign)

so i shall give you summary:):)

Those were taken during Hawa'a open house:)

Food was awesome to the max.

like sex.. not literally speaking la.

v v v v good:)

can't stop refilling my plate.

good food good company made everything perfect

see the small girl there.

she's cute right!

wan wanted to take her home.

" bi, cepat kite smuggle dier"
and i almost agreed.

almost.

hahahs.

Then on monday it was a girls day out with extra people!

hahah.

extra people being the boys.hmmm.

headed to iluma and while waiting for ais,

hawa, nizza,asri and me headed for the arccade first.

Played the trivia game.. like game show sey.

asri was saying how he didnt want to play and everything

in the end when he won he was over the moon.

mcm tgk bola.ahahaha

funny funny.

i wanted to upload the pictures but then terdelete.

-___________-"

nonetheless

i spent the whole day laughing because i have

my best friends and my boyfriend all in one day.

and the best part was that everyone knew everybody else so it was double

merepek-ness

Can't wait for another outing with them.

A levels hurry up and go alr!

Finally comes goodbye

2009-10-16T20:24:00.000-07:00

After 3 years in PeeJay,

i've finally graduated.

Farewell assembly was bitter sweet i think.

with all the memories about my class, all the stupid things we did,

my tarian girls and one guy.

The council gave us glow sticks during the assembly

to singnify a bond or something but we ended up

throwing it at them in the end.

HAHAHS.

Going to miss

Alex especially, i think, because at least there was someone

to fight with.

Damn you made school interesting.

Next up is a A level.

i will definitely work my hardest

for it.

no more messing about.

BIrthday rascal style!

2009-10-15T19:43:00.000-07:00

Hmmm... lets see.... This was how it goes,

I went to school late but my teacher doesent notices me so i marked my own attendance.
We took 1 carton of mentos mint from the CO-OP store room. ( wanted to take everything else but not enuff room on our bags)
During both breaks and one lunch people buy me food.
during P.E. we stole 2 cartons of crysentimun tea water.
On my way home met my brother and his Gf, gave them some water and have a great time.
After freshening up i go down and slack wit my frens and again free flow of food and drinks.

so thats how it goes..

Just for you

2009-10-14T02:09:00.001-07:00

HAPPY BIRTDAY TO MY DEAREST BOY

MD NOR IZWAN!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

TRY AND ENJOY YOUR DAY AND NOT JUST EAT ICE-CREAM AND

WATCH CARTOONS K?

:):):)

i heard your name but i couldn't see your face

2009-10-02T19:15:00.000-07:00

didn't go to school yesterday because of an eye infection
my eye was the size of a golf ball and was puffy.
But instead of staying home and studying like i should be doing,
i went out to meet my bf..heheh
was supposed to meet him at 1230 but ended up meeting him at 4
because at 1230 he just woke up! and at buona Vista instead of Outram because
i was still at Boon Lay when bf was at Raffles.
the last time we were supposed to meet at 1230 we met at 3 because well..
1230 is simply to early. its like meeting at 6am,where there will be birds chirping. the sun is still
low in he sky..
being overdramatic here.

ended up at Bugis but we didn't feel like just hanging around there
because..well..its.. boring.
we ALWAYS end up in Bugis
so we decided to have a walking expedition to where ever..
didn't feel lazy yesterday..
while walking at SMU
there was a flee market!
i love flee market! so cheap! so cheap!
heheh. bought a new bag and top!
i love it very the many.

then after all the walking we got hungry
because all the walking took a lot of energy out of our little bodies
plus the fact that i haven't eaten since morning
its time for cheese prata. wooo.
very niceeeee.

ended up at chathy where we just sat down and talked.
about everything:)
THEN ITS TIME FOR STRAWBERRY YOUGHURT
whats an expedition without lots of food!
wanted sushi but don't have:(:(

i still feel a bit hurt..so angry
i know it was nothing
but it wasn't funny.
i know its not your fault
i just cant stop thinking about it.

Its was a good night

2009-09-29T06:19:00.000-07:00

For a long time, many thought him my boyfie

of all the unglam moments..

never a proper shot

we little setans

see.. told you

love coach rides

like father like son

semangat sey

christmas malay style

I'm dreading school tomorrow so i've uploaded random
pictures just to make myself happy.

yesterday

Met bf.
was supposed to have a picnic but by the time
we met it was too late.
so just hang around town je.
i was looking forward to it sey but
nvm there's always next time:)
at first i was furious!
plan smue tk jadi.
but dunno why i can never stay mad at him
for long
him and his cute face.
i look at it and i go
alalalalala.. so sweet. DAMN IT!
then we laugh it off and things are ok:)
When i was walking about, saw a lot of jobs available.
can't wait to start working.
beginning to get a little psycho with all the exams
while in the train.. me and bf decided to play the blinking game
when you can't blink and the person who
doesn't blink the longest wins..
you know that one.
apparently bf doesn't know so
when i counted to three
and open my eyes to start playing..
my dear dear boy ( to my surprise )
didn't want to open his.
i was like
BIIII! HOW TO PLAY KLAU U TK BUKAK MATE?!
and smart alec there replied
OH KENE BUKAK EH? I THOUGHT TK YAH CAUSE IF
YOU OPEN THEN YOU WOULD BE BLINKING
AND THEN YOU LOSE.
........
huh?!
ahahahahahahaha
WTH

ILY so much none the less.

You belong with me

2009-09-24T19:27:00.000-07:00

Raya long long time agoooo:)

and..now

Ahhhh..when all we little setans mintak maaf:)

PROPER

RAYA PHOTOS TIME!:):)

i don't really like this photo.

i look faaattt

mum and dad

i wore a baju kurung this year because.. well.. me lazy:)

anyway this was taken on the first day of raye.

that was the only day we raye-d

2nd day on its s-t-u-d-y

-______________-''

YESTERDAY

Met my baby:):) wheeee..

supposed to meet at 2 but..well..

nasib klau we can EVER meet on time.

in the end met at 315. AHAHAHAHA.

initially wanted to watch movie but

decided not to since there was not really anything good

to watch.

Actually just wanted to spend time with him.

so we sat down in Buangkok to just

have some quiet alone time:)

Felt so good! like therapy.

ahahaha.

Then dear told me he had a dream that morning about me

it went somthing like this..

(clears throat)

He's abusive..

so he was punching me (in the dream lah)

but i was laughing (gile agaknye)

so that made him more angry and he

hit me even more!

then i broke up with him

and happily went for his brother instead...

ummmmm..

a moment of silence for you all to digest.

ok now you all can laugh your asses off!

AHAHAHAHAHHHAHA

WTH?!

ape la sayang:)

i love you too much to leave you for anyone else.

especially not your abang.

c'mon..

that must be like incest of something.

i think.

so gross on so many levels.

i sound like such a whore in your dream!hahaha

B-I-T-C-H to the max.

AHAHAHAHAHA

i couldn't stop teasing him about it the whole day

ILY boy!

Uncharted (Random) behaviour

2009-09-23T21:20:00.000-07:00

I freaking miss my baby.... Its been soo long since i last saw her... but no longer shall i suffer under the sorrows of loneliness cause we are meeting today!!!

I feel fucking happy sia!! Can't wait to see her.

Go where ehk?? No plan sia... hmm...

Today i shall juz spend time with her and ignore the rest of the world chaotic, lonely but cute people out there. hahahha.

Saturday got open house but house still messy.... Don't get me wrong. I'm not lazy juz don fell lyke it yet. hehe.

Blogging is a funny thing cause its lyke reflecting on eurself and lyke we ALL haven done that enuff infront of the mirror. hahahaha. I feel lyke i'm having a conversation between me and my mind coz what my mind says i type it but when it comes to a choice of whether i shul type sumting bad or good it becomes a debate between me and my mind. hahahaha. Macam orang gile sak.

now... what tyme shall i mit her??.... hmmm....

C'mon people, lets walk around with a dagger and slaps all those gangster wanabees with it.

Going carzy from missing eu larh bi. Very random post not that i care. i juz wanna type sumting onie. heee.

Love my baby Princess alot. Smell eu later sayang! hehe

Bye-bye people! :)

Without you i'll be miserable at best

2009-09-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYE TO EVERYONE and
i envy all you human beans yang tkde exams now.
When i look out the window, everyone tgh happy happy
and i'm stuck here studyinggg:(:(
-__________-"
so annoying.
Of all the sad events... this one is on top.
i swear.

Didn't really celebrate much this year.
partly because of exams
and partly because of my grandfather.
Don't know why..
but this year has been very teary.
A lot of crying since my grandmother passed away this year.
Never seen my mum cry so much.
i hope my grandfather gets better soon.
i know he misses her. thats why he's sick.

on another note.
its been very long since i last met my dearest boy.
feels so long.
missing him through and through.
hmmm...

will put up pictures soon.
if i have the time..
exam period again.

For here and now

2009-09-15T06:45:00.000-07:00

I'm thankful for everyday i get to be with him.
he's everything i adore and everything i couldn't live without.
With him i learn and grow to be a better person inside and out.

Sometimes it may be hard for me to hear my mistakes
but its even harder for him to tell me MY mistakes because
all he ever wants is to take care of me and not let me get hurt.
I appreciate all that he's done because it has only made us and our relationship stronger.
Everything he does is all for a reason.
And i love him for that.

I'm a different person now.
Not that i've completely changed me.
But i'm more aware of my surroundings now.
More aware of others.
And most importantly more aware of him.

I feel better than i've ever felt
because i realise my faults
and can take it positively.
Improve myself for the better.

and its all because there is someone to hold my hand
and lead me in the right direction.

We're every cliche but we simply do it best

2009-09-13T04:44:00.000-07:00

2 times in a row when i was supposed to fetch BF from school and i was late
pffttt..
i am simply not a morning person.
hahaha. but next time i make sure i'm early uh.
i go to school with you bi and wait till u dah abis!
WAHAHAHAHAH

anyway, break fast with my dearest boy last thursday in town.
We drank at coffee bean first cause he wanted to find his friend
but end up he's friend wasn't working that day.
Walked around ION and then suddenly i saw from a distance..RIVER ISLAND!
NEW WALLET TIME:):)
BF saw what i was looking at and, can you believe it, with all the manly strength he had he
shoved me out of the way!
i was like. BI!! RIVE... wooosh!
and he started saying things like.. tk la bi.. dier under construction. the windows maseh tutop.
ade jee.
in the end he let me go see:):)
and i really did see a niceee wallet.
didn't know if i should get it at first but then while eating i was like MUST HAVE IT!
so i forced him to eat quickly and then its back to buy it!

while in the shop, there was this guy who was standing under the display.
He was looking at his girlfriend pick out clothes or something and then BAM!
the boot dispplay fell on his head!
-____________-''
FUNNY TO THE MAX!
i wanted to laugh but tried to hold it in. My dearest boy did otherwise.
PUNYE LA KUAT DIER KETAWE.
in the end i cannot tahan so i laughed too.
the poor guy soon walked out to save whats left of his pride.
While walking around, i ALOMST walked under the same boot display but BF was like
JANGAN BI! nanti the other side lak jatuh.
HAHAHA.

and that outing marks the end of being happy and welcome misery

hello exams! my dear dear friend.
you weren't gone long this time.
i'm sure you will be a pain in the ass and brain like you were last time.
i bet you will remind me how you are going to own my butt
but never mind.
when its time for As. Its ownage beybeh:):)

enjoying the unlikely

2009-09-07T05:13:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, was helping my mum make roti kirai

for buke.

Being curious, i asked her why is it always yellow?

My mum was like

" tu food colouring je. Janti nampak lawa"

oohhh.

So i said:

me: klau tk nk colour yellow boleh?

mum: Abeh nk colour ape?

me: ibu ade colour ape? hehehehh.

Soooo.

TADAHHH!

My GREEN roti kirai!

she didnt let me do all. Cause it looked a bit frightening

Too bad my mum didn't have any blue or red colouring lying around.

It still tastes like roti kirai.

Still felt and smelt like it.

Its just green.

My dad and sis was like:

Eeeee!ape tu?!

boleh makan tk?

Tu lah. anak dare awak masak:) said my mum.

AHAHAHAHAHA.
LIVE WITH IT PEOPLE!

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE MULTI-COLOURED WHEN

I START COOKING AROUND HERE!

MUAHAHAHAHAHA

BIII! we are going to have colourful food soon:):)

He has all the right words

2009-09-06T06:42:00.000-07:00

Thank you sayang.

that's all i needed to hear

i trust you.

Everything will get better.

And I'm strong:)

Hot ke pe? hehehe

Romeo's bleeding but no one can see his blood..

2009-09-05T10:00:00.000-07:00

Been fighting alot wit baby recently... i dun no why oso....
Its hard to acknoledge the fact that we had alot of misunderstading...
Bi, eu had to know that i don wan this to happen too...
It juz did... We juz have to be patient baby..
Its not easy for me too...

If i could juz cry... that will make it alot easir...
Atleast it shows that i haf feelings too...
All the anger... the hatred has begun to take its toll...
Here i am.. burying all my feelings..
Juz living this life... turning the page one at a time....
Wondering when am i going to explode...

I'm no different than a floating box of doom....

I want to make eu happy so badly that i've begun to lose control of my thoughts..
When i'm with eu i feel so alive... No worries... No problems...
Juz haf to think bout eu...

Now that eu rare far... Things are different...
I'm slowly losing my sanity to the darkness of my heart...
I juz want to destroy everything...
Juz let everything burns...let everyone scream...
Burning their life... burning my dreams.....
All of this pain... all of this hate...
Burn it all down... as my anger rage...

I'm sorry for hurting eu...

I didn't mean it..

Its not that i'm spotting eur mistakes..

Its juz me... my side that wants to hate...

I'm superior not becoz of me... its due to me being cold and harsh to people...

Till no one dares to go against me.. I haf only 1 fren who is willing to stand by me...

Even tho i treated him lyke trash... he is still willing...

When i met eu then i realize what a jerk i am...

I'm sorry for the way i've treated eu... please give me some time...

Its all i need.... time... to make everything better...

I'm glad that eu r far.. but nt happy...
Atleast eu won't get to see my ugly side...
The side which i've supress inside of me for a long time...

I still love eu baby..

Nothings change..

The only thing that has change is that my feelings is getting deeper and deeper for eu...

Whish i could be there to console eu ryte now...
Tell eu that everything is fine...
To wipe eur tears...
To hold eu.. kiss eu.. hug eu...
To be with eu...

All i want is a simple life..
A life with eu by my side...
Love eu till the end of time dear...

If only i can show my love towards eu...
The reaction upon the affection eu have towards me...

Things are going to be fine...
I promise..

The music or the misery

2009-09-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

been feeling so downnn..
so emo nemo..
dunno why also..
everything i do makes me feel so depressed.
doing what i love also makes me sad.
just want to curl up in the corner and cry myself to sleep every night.
sucks to be me now.
TTM.

i put the phone away
when i need to catch my breath from crying too hard
will say everything is fine
when tears would be flowing
i'll wait by the phone
cause he said he'll text

bulan ramadan bulan yang paling mulia..
but it feels like it's the hardest
fighting so much.
meeting so little.

Be fast or be Last....

2009-09-02T19:43:00.000-07:00

SAyaNG!!!!! I MISSED THE BUS!!!!! now at home.... DAMN!!!!! Lepas sahur i tk sleep alek. At 7a.m. i baring2... 8a.m. i wake up... but i was fast! I leave house at 8.30 a.m. but all the aunties and anya sooo SLLOWW and dey make me late... its not my fault... I reach skul by 9.30 a.m.... They can't even wait for 15 min... den i go home... All my frens have a good time and i'm stuck at home...

BBBBI!IIIII!!!! i know eu are sleeping ryte now... haiz.... sooo saaddd..... Den wen i otw home got some people looking at me lyke never see people before... I scared den i luk down jer... sume pompan... I would have luk at dem but the ting is... none of them were eu...

I miss eu larh bi...

dAMn Skull BUS... Damn all the aunties at the interchange... make me late onie...

THATS IT!!! FRom tomorrow onwards I, Izwan, shall be early for everything!!!

I don't care, i sondol jer tu nonya nonya sume!!

I shall rule the bus!!!

That's all folks! Have a nice day =)

i'll never ask for anyone but you

2009-08-31T20:38:00.001-07:00

Teacher's day celebrations yesterday was sorta ok i guess
the 3km walk i could do without since i was puase-ing
haha. but had a load of laughs with the girls:):)
merepek tak habis habis

the concert was not bad but some acts were just a waste of time.
PLEASE LEARN HOW TO USE THE MICS PROPERLY CAN?!pffttt..
i think shazwan's class had the best costume! when thwy came out on stage
at that point the whole school was like "hey! power rangers!power ranger!"
so the hell funny.
like budak-budak betol.
but couldn't get a picture with them though
cause had to rush off to the LT to watch the video our class made for Miss tan
i was laughing so hard by the time it ended. but it was good.

then it was off to meet my dearest boyfriend at woodlands.
WHEEEE!
lynette said i am always meeting him
hahaha! but i miss him leh. den how?
when i ask him where we were going..
he had on the same face he had when he got us lost in chinatown a long time ago!
i ws like ' I KENAL THAT FACE BIII! MUKE LOST! LOST!'
hahaha. it was nice to spend some quality time with him
just the two of us.
no fighting.
its been rough these past few days
but nothing we can't work out.
then it was home sweet home to buke:):)

OH OH OH!
i got a new student:)
actually 2 lah.
and they're twins.
primary 3.
cute right!
dinah cannot tahan.
ahahahahahaha.

(i sound evil.. -__________-")

Eu can be my Private Dancer

2009-08-30T07:04:00.000-07:00

Halo! halo! HALO!!!! hahahah!!

Toking to baby now.. Blogging is sooo addictive!! Once eu start, eu can't stop. Thats my case..

Baby teach me how to blog and she is denying it!! Yes, eu, Dinah Atiqah Bte Azman, teach me this stuff and now i'm addicted to it!! Soooo tk MANLY!!!

Baby, I miss eu alot larh... I noe we've been fighting alot lately and i'm sorie tat i've hurt eu...

I mish eu sooo much.. I wanna hold eur hand... I wanna hug eu n never let eu go... I wanna kiss eu till time stands still... I wanna be by eur side every minute of my life...

I love eu soo much my dear..

Can't wait to see eu my princess...

Basking under the moonlight shadow

2009-08-27T19:42:00.000-07:00

Mit baby yesterday. Fetch her from school even though it was raining cats and dog. I was waiting at the void deck of a block opposite tek why pri.

It was then from far i saw a somebody who is shorter than the rest of the people there. HAHAHAHAHa. I knew it was her so i came down wanting to hug her like i always do when we mit but then it cross my mind that we were fasting and no contacts are allowed. DAMMNNN!!!!
THen i feel so sad... i miss her badly yet when we mit, i cant even hold her hands...

After the emotional moment, we went to baby's house and i waited for her to get changed. while waiting i fell asleep at the stairs. sooo tired. *yawn* Baby finally get out of her house and wake me up. Den it was off to don know where. We just took the train and never alight at any station. So i decided to go to tamp coz i wanna put my bag in my house first.

After that it was off to Tamp 1 to buy we some donuts. WWHHEEE!!! J.CO Donuts!!

BII!!!!! I nga hapilly blogging den cikgu i call me and ask me to sign my INFAMOUS pink form yng panjang lyke flag pole!! Den now i 4get what i wanted to write...

next tyme i continue larh.. bye-bye!!!

MISS eu BIII!!!!

The pages of our history

2009-08-27T07:44:00.000-07:00

Met Izwan and had dinner with him today.
But it felt extra special.
Being the fasting month, we can't have any type of physical contact
with each other. NOTHING. no holding hands. nah. nothing.
Futhermore regular meetings will be hard too since i'm
not allowed to break fast outside so often.
So i'm thankful now for every minute i get to spend with you.
Things will get rough this few months seeing that my exams are practically
days away.
But i know that we'll be fine.
because i trust you, and every of your words:)
After my exams we'll see each other every day k?hahas
Bi,
You need not do anything special
because your sincerity shines through your every action
You made me feel so safe and at the same time willing to take risks
because i know that you will always be there.
DAMN! ILY boy:)
missing you every minute that you're away and cherishing every moment that we spend

I hope you'll see my point of view

2009-08-23T02:12:00.000-07:00

Its almost 2am and i'm still studying
not cause i want to but because i need to.
Not been feeling very good lately:/
Everything seems to be going wrong.

Been feeling like there's a huge weight on my shoulders.
Nothing that can be removed so easily until the end of November.
Could really use someone to give me some encouragement nowadays.
I'm not asking for a lot.
Just a little push to tell me that its okay
and a little help when i fall down.
I dunno. Been tripping a lot these past few days.
Someone who can give me strength.
Been feeling alone lately.
Not from the lack of company.
I'm thankful for all the people around me.
But just the absence of moral support i guess.
Feeling drained from all the things i have to deal with
Want it to be all over soon
so that i can get back to being normal and healthy for once.

Been feeling sick so often.
trying very hard to remain positive.
The fasting month is not helping much.
Wearing me thin so fast:/
Never been so emotionally challenged.
So sensitive lately.
Things are so difficult.

i miss my boy.
He's so far away.
i know he's busy with he's own things too
Don't want to bother him much with my whining.
He has his own problems too.
He's been good to me.
Always making me happy.
Can see he's trying very hard nowadays.
Thank you baby.
If you can see me now, i look pathetic.

Too clingy.
Need a hug badly.
or even a pat on my shoulder.
Kinda hard to feel good about myself when
the pressure is building.
Its suffocating, really.

How can i expect to look forward to tomorrow
when today seems so bleak
I dunno what the rewards are
or even of i'll taste it.
I won't if i don't sacrifice now
and put aside what is not important
Just be clear about what i need to do
Follow th plan.
Stick with it. period.

missing my boy badly.
didn't have a good talk with him just now.
feeling worse than before
cannot stand to hurt him or make him angry.
better to keep it in
because he's my damn everything
it JUST another childish and immature matter
nothing big that is worth fighting over
give and take dinah.
grow up.
not all is about you.
you know you love him.
so suck it in.
Think before talking
sometimes its just a momentary feeling
and impulsive reaction.

focus, dinah

Never felt so alone

2009-08-22T09:45:00.000-07:00

STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUGYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING
STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING STUDYING

I MISS MY BOYFRIEND BUT HE'S NOT HERE

Loose eurself in the music

2009-08-20T18:16:00.000-07:00

HALO! HALO! HALO! HALO! hahahahaha. First of all baby, i tk scream and eu were the one who keep on falling off and dragging me with eu. Secondly, i was juz saving eu from the zombie and the hantu wit damn big scissors.
hehehe. Thirdly, we DO NOT look lyke that MONKEY ouhkaes!!!

The two grown up idiot was lyke worse than us sei!!! They shout even louder than me and one of them was better off on the floor coz he couldnt kip to his seat!! hahahahah!! Then got the IRRITATING air gun that keep on shooting at me lyke as if it wasnt cold enuff. Baby was lyke "ARRRGHHHH!!!!! BIIII!!!!!!! HELP!!!!! ME!!!!!". HAHAHAHAHAH!! it was DAMN shiok sia.

It was fun larh bi. i want to go again!!!!

Thats all, i want to play games now.by-bye people.

XOXOXOXOXO
Izwan =)

You're trouble that i couldn't resist

2009-08-20T06:54:00.000-07:00

So before we start puase-ing, me and my dear boy decided to

FINALLY have thosai:):)

and this time round i managed to finish mine.

im so happy can!

cheap thrill la but i have could never finish my thosai because

its SO BIGGG.

So then we walked to Sungai Road just to see what's it about and

maybe to find harry potter vcd since we didn't get to catch it.

HAHA. fat hope but no harm trying kan?

The things are so old.Till dusty dusty.

so no harry potter.

Walked around and ended up at Bugis Iluma and played at the new arcade.

The games there are WAYYY more exciting than normal arcades.

NO more uncomfortable Daytona Seats bebeh!

Say hello to the new-cushion-seats-that-move-around-as-though-

you're-in-a-real-car-with -FERARRI-exterior car racing games:):)

GOT CAMERA SOMEMORE THAT WILL DISPLAY YOUR STRESSED
FACE ON A BIG MONITOR AS YOU PLAY!

WAHHHH! SO EXCITING TTM!

hahaha. therefore we decided to action bedek a bit and

pretend that its real!

Then we saw some weird 3D movie thingy and decided to check it out.

Being people with balls ( not me literally)

we chose a horror screening.

BIG MISTAKE MAN!

Since it was 3D, there were ghosts walking around , zombies,

people with no heads, children with falling heads all happening

around you!cb! scaryyy!

WE ALL LOOKED LIKE THIS BY THE TIME IT ENDED!

NO POINT FOR CHAIRS!

HAHA! We were falling off of them from fright!

yes, we.

Me, Izwan and the two grown man who we in there with us!

Half the time, me and Izwan were on the floor!

HAHAH.

The grown men was ducking and taking cover from the zombie people

and there was one point when one of them covered his whole face!

OH OH OH!

and they were screaming!

HAHAHA.

i thought i would be the only one. but no.

They we screaming their heads off too:):)

and Izwan did so!

although he denied it larh and said that my screaming

shocked him so it was

a natural reaction to scream too:):)

tsk. tsk.

For most part of the screening izwan would be like

'' SIAL LA BI! SIAL LA! SIAL LA!''

Those were the only things i could hear when i wasn't screaming:):)

should go try it

DAMN WORTH ITTTTT!

its a good way to relieve stress, lose your voice and look stupid with 3D goggles!

WOO! so shiok!

When we wanted to head for home, my ez-link cannot tap!

since we were broke by then we took bus from Bugis to Boon Lay.

Thank you baby for accompanying all the way:):)
ILY boy!

My throat still hurting from the screaming.

It all downhill fron here

2009-08-19T05:49:00.001-07:00

'A' LEVELS IS MY RELIGION

'A' LEVELS IS MY RELIGION
'A' LEVELS IS MY RELIGION
'A' LEVELS IS MY RELIGION
'A' LEVELS IS MY RELIGION
'A' LEVELS IS MY RELIGION
'A' LEVELS IS MY RELIGION

Got back 'A' levels MT paper today. B beybeh! Guess re-taking it was

for the best:):) thanks TTM cikgu. B pon B la. Im contented.

At least its not an ugly C.
Gotta start hitting the books really hard now.
If not i'll be a LOSER
T______________T
It kills me when i know i'm missing my grades just
cause of poor time management.
i know the content. Just no time to shove it in.
so therefore must practice, practice,practice
In about 80 days, i will own your ass 'A's!
Niwae, must eat thosai before puase time.
cannot tahan already.
Must fulfill the natural cravings we human beansss
have!

Let you take the fall

2009-08-16T07:31:00.000-07:00

i don't usually blog twice in one day
but i just have to say this...

PEMBUAYYY!
I WANT MY FREAKING PHONE BACK!
CB.FUCKING LIAR.LIAR.LIAR.
BODOH. BODOH.BODOH.
SHUDUPPP.

Farid was supposed to meet me yesterday
to pass me back my phone.
Obviously, he didn't show.
Didn't call.
Didn't text.
nothing.

no surprise.

how stupid can i be to actually believe that guy?!
hypocrite TTM. can never keep to his words.

Whatever la huh..
buat suke hati kao.
pape that helps you sleeps at night.

You know what?
Just take the phone.
keep it je.
If you have no conscience or guilt,
then continue using it like its yours.
You don't want to give it back
fine.
The next time you see me..
don't bother calling me.
i don't even know you.

God knows i'm trying

2009-08-16T02:43:00.000-07:00

havent been blogging much
for the simple reason that i'm stressed out
and blogging is the last thing on my mind..

School's been a real killer and you can literally see
people dragging their feet.
it's THAT taxing
its just exams after exams.
and there's pretty much nothing we can do about it
expect to sit for it and pray for the best.
ironically,
praying takes a back seat nowadays.
its all about pushing yourself and eating your lecture notes.
because they are not going to reward you sympathy marks.
HELL NO
you get it right or you're screwed
and that's what the school is telling us.
ACE IT OR DIE.
no in betweens. sorry.

As for me
i dont feel like im doing enough studying though.
it just doesn't feel sufficient.
People shouldn't create grades like Cs and Ds.
it should just be As and Bs and anything less than that is a nice big U
kan senang sikit.
no false hopes.

i want to burn my lecture notes and put in water to drink.
hopefully i'll be smarter.

Everything that matters breaks in two

2009-08-09T07:07:00.000-07:00

i miss you through and through

but what you said makes me

not want to see just yet

Addiction we can't stop

2009-07-30T00:51:00.000-07:00

P.S LOOK AT OUR FINGERS

WAHAHAHAH! sexy kan kan kan :)

WAHAHAHAHAH. entah how many times we "peace'' alr. lost count!

trademark yg sungguh tk glam.

Initially planned to watch peejay tarian compete in some competition

but ended out they back out last minute.

So no point watching rightt??

Wanted to eat popeye's after that since we were starving

and crainhill is in the CBD but

NO SCONES AND NO MASHED POTATOES FOR WHATT?!
settled for KFC instead. pffttttt.

headed to town next and sat around and decided to watch the fireworks!

and of course take pictures la if not my dearest boyfie will ask

WHY GOT NO PICTURES OF ME?!

padahal dah banyak.

i take secret-secret.

dier je tk tauu:):)

ok dah.

very tired now.

back to work.

so many assignments.

'' habis habis''

These words are not rehearsed

2009-07-26T07:07:00.000-07:00

STFU

I HATE MY STUPID FUCKING UGLY TOTALLY USELESS

CB PHONE!

I WISH IT WOULD JUST BURN AND

BE GONE!

CANT STAND IT

UGLY UGLY UGLY UGLYUGLY

UGLY UGLY UGLY UGLY UGLY

We go la-la

2009-07-22T08:05:00.000-07:00

I havent been blogging since long long ago
because im lazy and by the time the laptop loads
i am sleepy.Zzzz.

Started revision already:):)
but so many things to remember. Got no space. how? how?
bodoh uh.
The other day, Izwan was saying how we should meet less because i need
more time on my studies.
Then today, Mrs Tan said that boyfriends who say that are rare gems!
AHAHAHAHHAAHAs times 10 to the power of infinity.
IZWAN IS A RARE GEM?!
pebble ade lah.
no no jk jk je.
im thankful that he is uberrrly understanding towards my educational needs.
ILY boy:) chey! confirm tgh smiling smiling at the computer screen
mcm selenge kan kan?

But the most selenge thing he did was to take bring home MY phone!
He always holds onto my phone for convenience sake.
skali today he forgot and i forgot to return/get it.
Dah i got no phone and he got 2 phones.
T_____________T "
i wil text him with a pretend phone and he will text using his phone to my phone which is with him also therefore, techically speaking, will be texting to himself.
hmm. bagos.
here is the most selenge couple in the whole entire globe.
AHAHAHA. what to do.

die die he has to meet me tomorrow to pass it to me. woohoo:)
speaking of phones. Meeting Farid on 15th August to get my spare phone back.
Finally sak. knn.
get phone pon so long. i bet the phone is in 8 pieces. cb la.
whatever. i just want my stuff back.

this is a loong post. a lot of events cramped into here.
k dah. i want to drink my strawberry youghurt now.

Tell me the world is mine

2009-07-16T19:10:00.000-07:00

BABY! BABY! BABY! BABY!

Mit baby yesterday. Actually i was suppose to fetch her from school at 3 p.m but was late due to the bus losing one of its tyres and an accident on the highway cause by a man who fell from the sky. hahahaha. Niwae, fetch her from skul. She was with her bestie, Esah . Esah voice is very very bass. Sounded lyke mine abit. hahahaha. We walk to the bus stop to take a ride to LOT1 den catch a train to baby house.

Baby mummy invites me to come in the house. When i step inside, it was lyke Alice in WOnderland coz I'm lyke the tallest while baby and her mom and sis are shorter than me. hehehe. Her house was big but the people who live there are small.hahaha.

While waiting for baby to change which seems lyke forever, i ask her sis to change the tv channel to see cartoons. :))

By 5.30 p.m we left my bakal mak mentue house and went to jurong point. We were waiting for the bus when somebody had the greatest idea of all and that is to walk to jurong point. It was lyke sooooo farrrrrrrr which is 985498764946KM away!!! I was hesitant at first but den baby make the manje face which kinda cast a spell on me so we walk to J.point den ate at BANQUET.

After that we roam around aimlessly b4 we decided to go to CCK park which i saw while taking the train. It looks soo pweety when eu look at it on the train but when we reach der, it was the same as all other parks. We sat down for awhile b4 leaving at 9.10 p.m . WE walk back to the train stationw and kissed each other goodbye.

Ouhkaes, now i'm hungry after blogging this much.

UNBELIEVABLE!! I just blog this much!!! oooooOOOOoOOOoOOOoooooooOO, its getting addictive. hahahah

bye bye

Wan Witwikey :))

sick in the mind

2009-07-13T19:47:00.000-07:00

HALO! HALO! HALO! HALO! hahahahaha.

Soo bored in school..nuttin to do so blog je larh. now siting beside some crazy boi who always do stupid and dumb but funny stuff.*he's currently looking at what i'm typing and shouting 'bodoh! bodoh!' coz i write bout him* hahaha. mostly dumb larh.

Now me and him are looking for job at mocca website but didn't find one. what a useless website.
i got bored then i touch him all over ...oooo... sounds so wrong.... hehe the poor creazy boi were shouting " OI BODOH!!! JANGAN TOUCH AKU LARH!! AKU TEMBAK KAU NANTI KAU MATI BARU TAU!!" hahahahah. then he sings lagu toxic by britney in a lao ya tone. hahahaha

soo bored and i can't believe tat i'm actually blogging this much. The new teacher is ok coz she let us use the internet and play games all day longwhich kinda destroy all hopes of studying and the reason of going to school. So now school is for games and to talk cock sing song onie.

BBBBIIIIII!!!!!!! Lapar arh.... y is the time going soo slow??..... org da lapar nie... Layan org gila pat sbela lagyk.. tkpper.. another 1hour jek. i can endure his torture.

YEAH!! I CAN DO IT!! *with the hand acton*

nk sleep arh bi..

bye bye. love ya lots

mish eu so much dear..

(P.S. The crazy boi is toking to himself)

Its not a temporary high

2009-07-12T07:29:00.001-07:00

i have a craving for masala thosai!
Shall head down to Little India this Saturday with
Izwan to have it.
The thosai there is uber big! It exceeds the plate beybeh!
wohoo! i likeeee.
and they serve it the whole friggin day.

Bi, i don't care.
we're going to just spend the whole day eating!
heheh:)

Didn't do much last saturday
cause we were aimless. like always.
but i didnt mind. just as long as i got to spend time with him:)
Walked around town and headed down to the foodfeast at TAKA.
so many people but so many good food.
YUM! YUM!

Will be meeting him on Thursday, Friday and Saturday:):)
heheheheheh.
i can't stop smiling to myself just thinking about it.
da lah dinah. STFU. macam selenge ketawe sorang.
So far no plans.

We'll think about it when the day comes:)

Because we're Bonnie and Clyde

2009-07-09T06:50:00.000-07:00

Sastra and Human Geography paper are FAGGARDS!
Urgh.. don't even want to talk about it.
so sucky.boohoo:(:(

Anyway, met Izwan today at 8am because i didn't have school
and he didn't want to go school. hahah. So we decided,
why not meet pagi-pagi bute kan. i know. it was
a brilliant idea:):) sorta.
Had breakfast at Macs then went to his house to
watch tv.yes.yes, we are lazy people. but it was so early in the morning what!
Then got MARTHA STEWARD making crazy-assed pop-up cards!
Funny! then bi said that the card was cool and that he wanted to try.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
He sounds like an old man.

We left at 130 and had lunch.
Then it was off toPlaza Singapura to watch Transformers!
wheeee!
Bi could just continue eating for the whole duration of the movie
even though it lasted for almost 3hours! My mouth was tired from chewing after 20 minutes.
But steel-jaws beside me could just go on and on and on and on.. hahaha:)
after which we walked around a bit and headed home.
Will be meeting him tomorrow and on saturday.
many many days kan?
i'm a happy happy girl who is so in love with her crazy boyfriend:)

when boredom strikes :)

2009-07-07T19:53:00.000-07:00

skool boring liao..... tkder kerje i wrote eur blog. hehe. Rindu eu larh seii... Yesterday mit my baby and eat mac. Then we go jln2 at lot 1. baby nk rob cotton on but cannot decide what to rob.hehe. next tyme we rob k sayang. It was a short mitin but i still enjoy it. even if it was for a minute or two, i'll stillsee eu coz eu are the best damn thing in my life.I'm so hungry nowadays.. dont noe why??.... BIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Boring arh skoolll!!!! don noe what to write arh ... bye bye boo. hahahaha. lapar arh bi. i tink i going canteen arh. love eu lots bi!! MUAX!!!

(P.S I'm not old. juz a young boi) hahahaha

We've a big mess on our hands

2009-07-02T19:33:00.000-07:00

Exam period so must blog about exams.

Make sense kan?
so lets start with the first paper-GP!

Gp paper was fineeee, i wrote about whales:)
what to do? it was a spur of the moment thing and
this silly old brain of mine decided
'' hey, can include whales for this part''
Now i'm like WHAT?!! SELENGE SIOL.

Then it was math.
Just when i told myself that its JUST math. I can do it.
POOF! goodbye self-confidence.
i know its supposed to be twincy wincy harder but that was just screwed up.
ME LEH? ME LEH? i want to pass! boohoo. if only..

As if uh..

After that it was economics. ( oh joy..)
it was okay. relatively je.
since i cram like hell for it, kinda.
Ahhh. what to do.
The whole world can't be rich at the same time.
Some have money and some have peanuts.
So there'll ALWAYS be econs.
whee.

Then it was physical geograpy.
First question - dunno.
And just when i THOUGHT i knew..
First word - salah
MORAL DOWN.

Left with Sastra and Human Geography.
Bet they will be equally disastrous.
i'm going to die.

Buy me a ticket to the end of the rainbow

2009-06-29T19:32:00.000-07:00

AM AND WILL BE ON HIATUS

:):)

dreaded exam period again.

i'm so going to die.

Missing eu is the hardest thing in my life....

2009-06-20T01:31:00.000-07:00

YEAH!!!!!! BABY DA BALEK!!!! I'm soo late to mit her!!! but nevemind, she'll understand. hehe. 6 days baby go and experience a minah kampong life at malaysia. ),; missed her terribly... all day i juz went to work and stay at home waiting for her to be back but it was soooo llloooonnngggg!!!! eviday wen i went to work i'll msg her hp even tho she tkle dapat kan obviously but i juz miss her sooo much.... its driving me crazy!! shit!!! she's reaching soon!!! BYE!!

I HAVE A SWEETHEART
WHOSTOLE MY HEART
SHE LOVES ME ALWAYS
BUT SHE'S FAR AWAY...
SHE SAY SHE KIP ME CLOSE TO HER
BUT I'M RYTE HERE!!!
HOW BI!!??? HOW??!!!
I MISSED EU TERRIBLY NOW...
come back, COME BACK..
I ALWAYS HAVE EUR BACK :)

I NOE I CAN COUNT ON HER
COZ SHE'S ALWAYS THERE
SHE'S WIERD
COZ I'M SOON HAVING A BEARD !! <- (NO LINK) HAHAHAH

SHE TRAP ME IN HER LITTLE POD
SO I'LL JUZ LISTEN TO HER I-POD :)
SHE LOVE ME SOO MUCH
THAT I'M BEIN PAMPERED TOO MUCH (HEHEHE)
SHE FOGOT TO GIVE ME A KISS
AND NOW SHE IS MISS!!
THE KISS IS DUE
BUT STILL I LOVE EU!!!

Pictures of you and me

2009-06-10T05:26:00.000-07:00

HAPPY HAPPY NINETEEN-TH TO ME

Met Izwan and headed down to the Singapore flyer

to have popeye's for lunch.

talked and laughed and

then decided to explore the big ol wheel

heheheh.

There is just something fun about not planing anything

and just wandering aimlessly.

The last time we did that, we took the circle line and

ended up in MARYMOUNT! where we then took an unknown

bus and popped up at Tan Tock Seng.

so why not do it again kan:)

and that's exactly what we did!

We walked, took pictures and then

POOF! dah kat Buangkok!

hahaha.

Then my mum called and said that i needed to rush home.

Lintang-pukang aku balek and then..

she surprised me with a birthday cake:)

wheee!

Thank you so much mummy and my dearest boyfie

for celebrating my birthday with me.

Friday will be birthday celebrations part 2:)

YAAY!

Loved yesterday

2009-06-02T05:07:00.000-07:00

i hate math.
hate it. hate it.
hate it. hate it.
hate it. hate it.

study pon mcm no use
because its not like the same questions
are going to come out kan?!

DAMN LAH.
just fail it sudah.
arrrghhhh...
so the hell annoying

phone so silent today:(

It never meant nothing

2009-06-01T09:09:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA! Now when i look at it, this is such a stoopid pose!
He's mine! nobody can steal him. NYEHH! ahaha.

muke stop it uh dinah

loveee this pic:)

apa ituuu?:):)

Dumb shot number 2. pffftttt...

Had MT paper this morning.

My 2nd time taking it.

hopefully i'll do better.

if not i'll just be wasting my time..

pffttt..

Wasn't supposed meet Wan today.

but then POOF! we met.

he came to cck:)

poor baby. had to travel so far.

Had a good heartfelt talk with him.

When everything was all better i went shopping!

bought more tank tops and heels:)

what to do.. GSS making me crazy.

everything so the hell cheap:)

Wan kept on saying

" dah bi dah. No more."

but i just couldnt resist:)

Then headed down to buangkok

( our newest and most favourite-est place in

the whole wide world)

and just sat around, took some pictures and did the most important thing...

Enjoy each other's company.

"i'm thankfuk for everyday he is with me"

time to mug for math paper on wednesday.

functions..blah..blah..blah

graphs..blah..blah..blah

quadratic equations..blah..blah..blah

Life started with an alright scene

2009-05-31T05:21:00.000-07:00

Because i am a loser with a capital L.

i just had to say it right?
because i thought i was coping with it just fine.
Apprently i'm a stubborn ass
and i'm taking an awfully long time to change.
couldn't see that somebody cared
enough about me
and trying his hardest to make me better.

cause i'm feeling nervous
trying to be so perfect
cause i know you're worth it.
but why can't i just tell you that i'm scared?
cause these things i'll never say..

Someone once told me:
To love someone is equal to putting that someone first.
all the time
no matter what
About making him/her happy.
about what he/her wants.
always. period.
There's actually no 'us' in love
there's only your other half
because in love
there's no place for a 'me'
Putting a 'me' is putting yourself first
and that will only destroy your relationship.

you + me you = us

i guess..

i'm missing you badly

and i hope you'll forgive me

Living like we're crazy in love

2009-05-29T05:31:00.000-07:00

GP paper today:)
what a way to start the exam season.
woke up super late this morning -____-''
Of all the days to wake up late. Must be today.MUST eh.
what to do.. dinah's not a morning person (right baby?)
haha.
so that's strike one.
then 180 didnt come on time either because the bus driver pon overslept i think.
That or he got lost along the way.
strike two.
Then while rushing to try and make it to school before the gate closes i tripped and fell.TWICE.
so unglam.
strike three.
pfftttt..
The exam venue so freaking freezing that i couldn't think. i swear. Some people were
already turning to ice.

After the exam, had MCS farewell party for the J2.
YES. our time of reign is over.
We oldies now have to pass our throne on to the younger ones.
HAHAHA.
Really memorable. They did a great job organising it:)
well done guys. Love you many many.

To my upcoming president, i wish you all the best in the coming year.
There will be time when you feel like tearing your hair out and times when you are thankful for the people around you. I've been through it. Just take it within your stride and you will do great.
i know you will. I'm always available if you need any help aite?:) <3

Missing Izwan badly now.
BIII! cepat-cepat move back tampines so that i can see you again

Darkness in the night, i'll be the light for you

2009-05-27T22:26:00.000-07:00

Halo baby!!!! hahahahaha. i'm now the author of your blog also... hahahahaha

Met her yesterday and wnt back to my place. She wanna wait for me at the RC but mummy came out and saw her. hahahaha. Die baru ingat nk hiding dari mummy, kesian baby. hehe.
Mummy ask her to come in but instead, she wait for me at the stairs. Aper larh baby. hahahaha.
While walking to Buangkok to grab sumting, i saw and pick up a toy. Baby played wit it and ignore me... PFFTTT. bnyk nye miss me. When i took it away fwom her, she make her famous "GEMBENG FACE" .... so i gave it back to her. Biii!!!! Not fair!!!! Eu tk kasi i touch the toy pon....Hmph! Baby tried to make the toy move as instructed on the pakage but couldnt. hahahaha. In the end she gave up and threw it away and layan me. YEAH!!! Junior 1 Stooopit toy 0. hahahahah.. Love baby alot. Mitin her later and i haven bath yet. Mummy is asking me to eat so bye bye. :)

Wish i could keep you much longer

2009-05-24T06:55:00.000-07:00

Went to Azpirasi's dance showcase with Izwan.
( the show was about ninjas, momoks and a really psychotic painter
i think, i was just laughing too much)
Met Aisyah and Zul, Niza and Asri, Hawa and Zhafri
and the rest of the tarian people there:)
As usual, the me, hawa, aisyah and niza
just created a big hoo-hah there
and are so the hell noisy.
what to do. we're all crazy.
haha.
After that went to KFC to have dinner along with our boyfies
we talked and laughed and talked and laughed.
So much fun. Its great that we could all get along:)

Izwan will be busy the whole of next week
cause he will be moving back to Tampines at the end of this month..
which is soon.
Can't meet him on the coming Saturday for our usual date.
*inserts gembeng face*
and he can't call as often or text cause his prepaid is low.
*inserts double gembeng face*
Can only see him after 13 days:(:(
yes..i counted
I'm already missing him so badly
AAARRRGGHHH!
but we'll make it through
things will be back to normal after this whole fiasco..
when he's back home and my exams are over:)
SO dinah shall be strong for the time being!
YES UH! eating tau huay gives you strength! so i shall eat it every day:)
HAHAHA.

i have 3 major papers to prepare for now.
ppffftttt..so the hell sucky.
life sometimes sucks balls.

oh.. here are the LOOOOONNNGGGG overdued tarian pictures from our SYF days.
yes.. it was a nong nong time ago. ENJOY:)

You spin my head right round

2009-05-19T05:25:00.000-07:00

i hate this week. FREAKING AND ESPECIALLY hate this week.
I've been getting less and less sleep because
i've been sick so often that pretty soon
i won't be sleeping at all.

All i do is study all the time because apprently
i have no better way to spend my time
The only thing i like about school is
the breaks and the dismissal bells.
That's it. period.

People's been a bitch.
School is getting competitive.
i hear the twisted tongues.

DAMN ALL THE PEOPLE WHO JUDGE ME
WHEN YOU FUCKING DON'T KNOW ME ,FUCKING KEEP
YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
DON'T WANNA?
THE I'LL TAKE YOU ON!

You wanna get tough?
I'll be two times tougher.
You wanna get rough?
I'll three times rougher.
You wanna get high-strung
i'll be the bitch you'll remember.

I'm from a small town i'm gonna grow up fast

2009-05-17T01:33:00.000-07:00

Your call by Secondhand Serenade

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
Call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and polished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
When you are sitting next to me
Will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your...)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes
me want to come back home [X4]
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

i need him so badly

To the praying mother and the worried father

2009-05-16T09:50:00.001-07:00

Someone just shoot me.
i beg you.. Just pull the trigger.

i was a bitch.
i shouldn't have acted up and cried.
yes, its not all about me.
i realised that.
thats why im apologizing.
But how could you just IGNORE it.
I-G-N-O-R-E it..
i'm trying baby.. i really am..
but i feel so hurt now.
its like what i say don't matter to you.
not even when i apologize.
and then you'll say that i always hurt you
and that i will always walk away scott-free
when i hurt your feelings, like i dont even care.
its not like that.
i do care.
tell me baby.. when you don't like the way i act.
i'll listen
i'll change.
and i won't do it again.

i understand you want to spend time with your friends
and that it cannot always be what i want.
i know that now.
so ill compromise.
i'll be whatever you want me to be
and go where ever you want me to go.
i'll do whatever you want me to do
and i'll put you first..
just give me time to adjust.

like i said..
i'll be fine.
i can take care of myself.

i won't be getting any sleep tonight.
Today's the most horrible day of my life
i fucking hate myself.
Why do i keep doing this.
repeating all my fucking mistakes
and making people fucking hate me.

And we'll both go out in style

2009-05-14T05:58:00.000-07:00

I'm sick.

He's sick.

I'm here

and he's wayyyy

over there.

We can't change any of it.

So we'll make the best of it

cause it's as good as it can get.

Met dearest Izwan a few days ago.

Told him i was sick and that he should stay FAR FAR FAR away

from me.. but no.

Dengan semangatnye he said

''i tak senang jangkit. I kuat''

Skali today he texted me in the morning

saying that he's having a fever!

HAHAHHA. It being absolutely hilarious was not the point.

but still.. cannot deny its funny right?!

my BIOLboy..

Take care dear. missing you badly.

Ninja-ninja kat polyclinic dah panggil

:):)

Soundtrack of my Summer

2009-05-09T08:32:00.000-07:00

SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.
SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.
SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.
SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.
SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.
SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.
SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.SICK.

I wanna know what he wants and be what he wants.
I wanna see him always happy.
And give him everything
but
I didnt know being me could hurt someone so bad.

Why can't i breathe whenever i think about you?

2009-05-02T01:22:00.000-07:00

IMAGE HEAVY

I am a happy happy girl and will continue to be for the next 24 hours or so

because i got to see my boyfriend for 3 days straight:):)

yes.. i'm clingy i know.

but i don't care. i like it like this

Being the lazy girl that i am.

I will give you a not so wordy summary.

THURSDAY

Went to explore COURTS warehouse and IKEA at Tampines

BIOLboy didn't tell me his mum was going to be there

and our argument about that went something like this

me: BI! U TK CAKAP MAK U ADE!

wan: u never ask

me: u never say

wan: u never tell

me: HAHAHAH

you tell me.. how am i supposed to be angry with him

FRIDAY

Had dinner with Wan and his family.

Thought it will be weird but no.

it was ok:)

TODAY

Accompained Izwan to the national library to finish his project.

Bbut because of the swine flu thingy..we had to be scanned before we could enter.

so leceh:(

So anyway, halfway through i got bored watching him type

and decided we should camwhore.

The result is that up there.

yang terpampang on your screen when you first viewed my blog:)
hahaha.

When both boy and girl are crazy.. either that

or he's WAYYYY cazier than me

While we were talking, we saw this guy coiling up his laptop cable

while yawning.

Funny thing was how big he yawned.

WE COULD SEE THE BACK OF HIS THROAT

haha.

and he held that position for a good 5 minutes.ingat jaw lock ke ape.

Izwan thought he looked like that down there..

HAHAHAHA.

we couldn't stop laughing

It doesn't rain in my bedroom

2009-04-28T23:16:00.000-07:00

ok. Remember how long long ago i said that i hated mondays

to the max?

this week wasn't so bad:)

Yesterday, afternoon classes were cancelled and my dearest boyfriend

decided we should watch JANGAN TEGUR. WHEE!

OMG! i tell you the show was freaking memeranjatkan

not really scary la uh but damn the hell shocking.
HAHA. and macam budak biol

dinah step tak takot but in the end i had to hide behind

Izwan's smell-like-kong-guan-biscuit sleeve

-____-"

drop my glamour kan? yeah. i know

stupid baizura.

After that, had lunch at KFC and while waiting

i decided to doodle on his notes.

The result is that up there.

HAHAS.

I don' t even know why that dear boy carries a bag

other than to transport air from Sengkang to Yishun.

i tell you..

he can be soo lazy sometimes

BUT ILY.

now to get down to some serious mugging for economics test tomorrow.

pffftt..

inflation.. blah blah blah..

cost of production.. blah..blah..blah

what can't the world just stop war-ing?

Pocketfull of Sunshine

2009-04-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

Izwan and i went to Temasek JC to watch Semarak Temasek.
Pioneer was a let down. pffttt..
But non the less they tried their best.
It was a little boring.
But i can always depend on my dearest BIOLboy to make me laugh
On the way out, he went to the girl at the front desk and threw the programme booklet on the table while shouting
i kasi balek uh! to me
HAHAHA. tk giler ke tu?!

While Wan and i were just hanging out,
my dad called but i didnt pick up
cause i was thinking
he must be wondering where the heck i was and at what god-forsaken time will i be back etc etc..
naturally, i didnt bother to save me the hassle.

but then he texted
saying that my grandmother passed away..
and that we need to go. now.

you're right.
i shoud have just answered the phone.

The boys are too refined

2009-04-23T21:51:00.000-07:00

Met Izwan yesterday after school.
Didn't feel like meeting him at first cause he
was pissed off at me.
He completely ignored me the whole day
and when i called, it was like having a meaningless conversation
whats the point of meeting when you feel like you know what's going to happen right?
i felt like i was going to lose him.
Like i knew what he was going to say.
But with a heavy heart i met him anyway.
what ever was going to happen has to happen.
even if all he wanted to say is that he's leaving..

At first we didn't talk.
i looked everywhere except straight into his eyes.
I felt like shooting myself in the head.
but then he explained to me everything.
it wasn't as bad as i imagined. Just some misunderstanding.
and he's still my BIOLboy!

So this is what it feels like to really love..
to be so damn afraid of losing your other half
that your day becomes a living hell.
but its all worth it.

ok dah.
dah abes emo dah.
so then then..
we went to Long John Silvers for lunch
and BIOLboy played the meanest most evil trick in the whole wide world on meeee!
He will distract me by saying something completely stupid
then when i was whale whale-ing away, he'll split my straw in half.
MEANIE! how to drink like that?!
so i took a video of how that selege did it because i was QUITE impressed.
hahah
quite je.

After 97 missed calls i still miss you

2009-04-20T21:22:00.000-07:00

Ughh..
i hate mondays.
M-O-N-D-A-Y
is evil.
urgh..

what more to say. today was a horrible day.

So Shazwan decided that maybe taking a picture would cheer me up.
hahaha. Stupid.

i miss my boyfriend.
but he's all the way at Sengkang.
pffttt..
so far far away.
i want him here.
* points at a spot on the floor*
Just to go there je dah take 930874530 hours!
i wonder if i row a boat will it be faster?

I'm sleeping so little but i'm living a good life

2009-04-18T01:54:00.000-07:00

Met Izwan today at Chinatown.
I dunno why but he likes to meet at weird places.
places where NORMAL people dont meet other people.
sape je jumpe kat chinatown?!
hahaha.
Anyway, temankan BIOLboy back to SENGKANG
cause he wants to change.
Then then then.. while i was waiting for him at the staircase his mum came and
met me.
drop my glamour by 40% can?
dah lah pakaian bukan macam perompuan melayu terakhir.
ishh..
talk about a bad first impression..

Walked aroud Bugis( i know.. don't say anything. ahaha)
where Wan, si tangan gatal, went to switch off the tv in BHG.
yes. the one where they advertise the products.
hahaah
ended up at the supreme court where we just sat and sing songs:)

i'm still getting used to the fact that he can't send me home
and that i have to make that trip back myself.
i guess having an east side boy is different from having west side boys.

No matter what, i can't let my feelings take control
of my rational mind.
Learn to reason and not be impulsive
because that is what will mess up a relationship.
even if it means hiding your true feelings.

i found the boyfriend i wanna marry at my best friend's wedding

2009-04-14T22:28:00.000-07:00

i don't want to feel the pain anymore.
i want to let myself fall off the edge and break into pieces.
i want to lose my sanity
all i want is to let the pain fade away and disappear

i feel like i'm dying
and nobody is coming

Hello helicopter are you here to stay?

2009-04-12T23:12:00.000-07:00

Friday
Met Aisyah, Zhafri and Adib at cck
before heading down to Vivo.
Wanted to just hang out before Adib goes marching
off to NS and get all his nice hair shaved off.
HAHA dah tk macam TOM WELLING lagi.
Intended to watch a movie but the queue was freaking insane
sampat terbelit-belit
so scrap that and we headed down to the arcade.
HAHAHA.
Damn gila can. Girls with high heels, Boys with scarfs and the arcade don't go together.
Played air hockey and Zhafri couldn't stop ranting hpw it was noisy and stuff.
i swore he shouted '' aku tk suke arcade!'' for the whole of 15 minutes while he was shooting
spiders.
NS-boy-to-be cheated and put his whole arm at the goal when playing ice hockey
so i can't score.
tkpe uh.. nak masok NS nye pasal kasi chance uh.
Then Zhafri bought this really dumb $1 helicopter toy
and we played with it in the middle of vivo.
yes. kat tengah tengah vivo.
with the crowd and everything.
kecoh-rable.
But i had to leave half way to meet Wan at BUGIS
(macam tkde tempat lain. If you refer to previous posts all we ever do is go is to BUGIS. HAHA)

Saturday
Went to Adib's place for open house and doa selamat
before he is sent packing to tekong on Tuesday.
Played RISK; THE GAME OF GLOBAL DOMINATION.
haha. and i was almost ruling the world but the guys
were just kicking ass.
tak kasi chance langsung.
The saddest part was that i dropped my baby.
not izwan no (if i could carry him i would).. but my phone.
and the LCD cracked. The phone didn't just shut down. That would have been fine.
NO. The screen suddenly decided it has had enough of me dropping it and decided to crack.
But adib was nice enough to lend me his cause he says he has
to use some legend with no camera anyway.
HAHA.
THANKS SWEETS.

long story short.
now i have to repair my damn phone. Tk sampai 3 bulan and the phone already hates me.
but daddy said i could repair then sell it to get a new one:)
whee. waiting for the end of may:)
i wanna go shopping again..
in the mean time i shall be studying to kill time
and wait for april to fly by..

bi.
i miss you BIOLboy

We'll both go down together and stay there forever

2009-04-11T01:04:00.000-07:00

i can only sing you sad songs
but i hope that you'll sing along
and if you don't know the words
we'll just hum to the melody
of that same sad song.
Because that is all that i can do.

i should learn to swallow.
and bite my tongue.
Not say whatever i feel like just o make me feel better.
because i don't need to feel better.
he does.
so just use your god-damn head for once dinah.
you know you can't live without him.

i miss you
make me better

All eyes on me in the center of the ring just like a circus

2009-04-09T23:21:00.000-07:00

GOLD AWARD FOR SYF CENTRAL JUDGING

because we're the best and the whole damn world knows it!

HAHAS..

all the lebams and bengkaks don't matter

anymore because its all freaking worth it.

we kicked ass and its all cause of you guys.

we persevered with blood, buckets of sweat and tears

and a hell lot of bandages and plasters!

i am so pround of you guys and damn ILY!

today

Met wan at outram.

i was supposed to meet him at 1pm but he said don't kluar until dier dah kluar.

so i waited.

He texted me when he was reaching sengkang MRT.

biolboy forgot that boon lay was at johor

and that buses in johor don't turn up on time.

hence the tardy habit of being late.

heheheh. Oops.

We went on an adventure around CHINATOWN.

yes. this time we really wanted to go there

and not just aimlessly end up there.

Got bored(as always) and decided to go to bugis.

Wan wanted to collect his watch since 903473243 days ago.

i know. LAMER KAN!but the shop was like

no no. not ready. come next week

Tak kan la lamer sangat nak repair jam.

jam tk hancur berderai kan?

kene import parts ke?

i bet you guys misplaced it!

dont deny! don't deny!

pffttttt...

yesterday on the phone:

me: bi, u nk jumpe bsk?

wan: tk tau. i ngaji

me: HUH?! sejak bile?!

wan: sejak besok.. i baru nk blajar

( inserts a very damn bangge face)

today in bugis:

wan: bi, i nk tindik uh.

me: HUH?! u kan ngaji!

wan:kak sedare i ajar. tkpe blh. cool pe!

so in the end, biolboy got his ear pierced!

pikiran whale whale.

LOST BI! LOST!

hahahah.

but i still love him.a whole lot.

meeting adib, zhaf, aisyah, ariff and farah tomorrow

as a farewell before adib goes into army

( salutes)

going to miss you crazy-camwhoring- chocolate-bringing soldier boy!

Don't put my heart in fragile hands

2009-04-03T23:20:00.000-07:00

i didnt know where you were

or were you even ok.

I couldn't be there for you when you really needed someone

i wasn't able to pick you up when you fell

all i could do was stare at my damn phone and wait for it to ring.

I felt helpless and worried sick

but i didnt want to know that you were ok

i wanted to see that you're ok

My head was spinning out of control; feeding me nonsense
My heart says that i'll lose you forever

And you had to say those things.

Everything came crashing down.

I knew you didn't mean it.

but it still hurts

What they all said i was came flooding back.

Why they all left..why i'am like this

Why none lasted..Why i don't deserve anyone

And they all seem to be true now:(:(

I knew it was in a moment of anger,

You were in a difficult situation

I didn't have to cry

i wasn't making things any better.

Im sorry.

I really am.

maybe i should have considered your feelings too.

i knew i should.

I was just selfish.

Just like i was before.

I just didn't know how to handle this.

I shouldnt have slammed the phone.

you were right.

I didn't understand.

not even a little bit i guess.

But i was scared.

I was thinking straight. Hell, i wasn't even thinking.

Maybe, i should just get away for awhile?

i don't want to hurt him anymore

i love him too much

because he's my everything

but i'll try,

baby,

i swear i will

Harder than i had ever tried

because you are something i cannot afford to lose

You mean more to me than anything else in the world.

izwan,ILY

We'll fight crime with mangoes and limes

2009-04-02T23:55:00.000-07:00

This whole week has been a damn hectic week.
Tarian practice is EVERY SINGLE DAY! HARI-HARI! TODAY,TOMORROW AND LUSA!
pfttt... tired
Common test results weren't that fantastic.
(i expected fantastic-er results..what a complete waste of mental space dinah)

Met dearest Izwan today after school:) and he accompanied
me home to get my tarian stuff.
I told him i'll be quick tapi tak sampai 15 minutes,
Mr i'm-the-most-patient-man-in-the-world texted and said that
he finished 4 cawan teh and i'm still not done.
go figures! HAHA

Had lunch in JP after that and then he sent me to school for lovely tarian
what else is there to say..
we are happy and full people.
On the way there, we had a really dumb conversation about the translating stuff into malay
me: bi, what do you call stingray in malay?
wan: ikan pari
me: whale?
wan: ikan paus
me: whale whale?
wan: ikan paus! ikan paus! itu u uh bi!
me: HAHA!tk! abeh NEMO?
wan: MANE ADE IKAN NEMO BI?! HAHAHA!
me: eh?! oh ya.. dier badot fish uh
wan: then fin in malay?
me: (confidently) SAYAP!
banyak aku nye sayap.. BIOLboy couldn't stop laughing

After tarian he sent me home( HE IS SUPER RAJIN TODAY! )
I told him that tarian ended at 8pm but i was about 45minutes late:P
yes,yes,
Mr I'm-the-most-patient-man-in-the-world
sent me 9257238570 msgs asking me where i was and was i crawling there.
kurang ajarnye anakk..

and then,

just a minute ago,

that dearest BIOLboy of mine
left me a note
(don't ask me when he wrote it because i sendiri am mushkil dalam my kepale otak)
and told me to read it.
i couldn't help but cry
because every word is sincere and hits me right to the bone
I LOVE YOU too.
always and forever.
i've built my world around you.
you are my everything.
the best part is,

i'm your everything too:):)

hahaha..surat cinta dah glam nampak.
save kat ipod ehk?!
sayang, sayang..HAHA

Who shot that arrow in your throat?

2009-03-28T20:43:00.000-07:00

SYF is coming.
And henceforth the totally-insane-everyday-training-that-will-make-everybody-crazy-assed-retarded next week. whee..
After Tarian yesterday,
met Fami at CCK.
That boy just kept calling and calling and calling..
so when i finally picked up the phone,
he said he was already at CCK.
ppfffttt.. so i had to meet him.
It was the MOST boring meeting ever. i swear.
I was tired and have absolutely ZERO energy to layan him.
and he was getting sleepy cause he just went jogging.
So half way i told him i had to go for tutoring and that he should
just bersiap sedia untuk pulang ke tempat tinggalnya.
Being with him was just killing my brain cells
( like i wasn't already short of it after tarian )

Then then then..
i found out that i maybe getting another student
and that i have to extend my tutoring hours to 3 1/2 hrs for my current students.
T_T
wan was like:
tapi nanti u gaji lagi banyak kan?
thats true la.. but its besides the point!
i swear my body will be failing and if it can talk it'll say something like this:
EH! HELLO!HELLO! MINTAK AMPON SIKET!

hehehe..
dinah is a good teacher kan:)

You are my sweet spot. Take me to your candy shop

2009-03-27T20:14:00.000-07:00

YESTERDAY
Supposed to meet Wan at 245 at Jurong East but no..
at 245 BIOLboy was still at sengkang.
So i had to make my way to outram instead..pffft
Then, he texted me when i was at Commonwealth
asking where i was. so i told him.
and my dearest boyfriend thought it would be more convenient to meet at Tiong.
macam BIG DIFFERENCE EH SATU STATION!
By that time i was already at tiong so i alighted and he wasn't even there yet!
otak sort uh bi!
So then after meeting Zhafri to collect my sastra notes we went to IMM to buy sushi
and then its off to Raffles Place.
At first i told him that Raffles place tkde pape.
BUT be wanted to walk to City hall.
and i was like ok.
Skali si BIOL jalan the wrong direction! and we ended up at freaking CHINATOWN!
In the end, dah malas, penat and i was ranting
we took bus:)
Had dinner at pastamania
while looking at the recepit i told Wan:
me: bi, the girl tadi name dier weiwei sey.
wan: sebab tu dier pon whale whale serve kite tadi
i laughed like hell.
Then it was off to Raffles City.
Walked around for a bit and bought a brand new wallet from River Island:)
YAY!

TODAY(just now)
Can anyone EVER EVEN concentrate during an afternoon paper?!
Seriously.. anyone?Just raise up your hand. i swear i won't shoot you.
230 pm is the time PJ people eat lunch AND THEN sleep in class.
HELLLLOO!
While i was happily tarian-ing away
SHAHRULNIZAM texted me saying he brought home my itouch
(feel free to insert any vulgarities you deem fit here)
My dearest BIOLboy was like:
Bi gy amek! klau tidak i terbalekkan your skl
hahaha. seramkan? i know.
Since i can't live without my music
i decided to drag my lazy ass to woodlands and collect my baby.
Then then then.. that mamat said:
Ko datang sini stakat nk amek ipod ko? Laa.. Aku ingat kao jumpe mateir kao. Kao tknk cakap siang2. Aku blh antarkan sak!
(feel free to insert MORE vugarities here)
pffttt...but he is still my crazy-assed-best-friend-whom-i-can't-survive-jc-life-without:):)

Tarian and Tutoring tomorrow
and the world ucap(s)kan GOOD LUCK dinah
harap harap tk ajar salah bende.
because i know and you know she'll be
ZZzzzzz..

Izwannnn!
i miss you boy:(

Gloria, I got myself an East Side Boyy

2009-03-23T12:00:00.000-07:00

Had tutoring then met Wan and his sedare at Bugis.
i swear it was a freaking hot day so we decided to get a drink at Mac.
While he was busy wrestling with his money,
the counter person asked him if he was having it here or to go.
Being the biol boy that he is. He said
huh? having here? take away? i dunno.
wahahahahaha.
the lady behind the counter was so confused.
i swear that was freaking retarded.
then we got bored
so we decided to walk to PS.
I was feeling uncomfortable that i'll bump into someone i knew
who was working there
but bf was like:
Jgn takot la. Dier buat pape kan i ade.
Nie, sedare i, dah biase potong telinge org.
bi jgn takot la.
Hahahahaha.. oookkkk.
So then we got bored(again) and headed down to Vivo.
We wanted to shop but we're both were kinda broke.
I have to wait till next month before i'm flushed again
and Wan had to wait till his pay comes through.
pffftttt.. the whole freaking world is about money.
Then it was time to go home.
The train back was packed giler. While me and Wan were talking
this guy fell on another guy who was seated(and sleeping)!
Maybe if he like a tripped it won't be so funny i guess.
But no.
he terjatuh when the train stopped and sat on the sleeping guy's lap!
HAHAHAH! terperanjat org tu.
Wan and me couldn't stop laughing!
it was effing hilarious
i told him:
Ayg, turn the other way and laugh uh. Tk baik.
But no, BIOLboy couldn't stop.

ILY!

Exam season now.
Gp paper was fine.
All the extra reading paid off:)
Human geog paper was INHUMANE!
i couldn't remember the examples so i just
skimmed through the examples. Brief and totally useless statements.
Might as well have not written it but what the heck.
Economics paper tomorrow.
Feeling as though i haven't studied enough.
Then math and physical geog on wed.
and sastra on fridayyy. oh well.. let's just see what happens
what a looong week.

Oh april, pls come soon..
My hands are itching for a brand new pair
of shoes, maybe some new dresess,
a new bag, pastamania! blah blah blah blah..
hahah. you get the point.

High hopes in velvet ropes

2009-03-20T01:55:00.000-07:00

Met my dearest bf today at Yishun.
Then its off to Hougang to collect
some of his things at his aunt's place.
While on the bus we played snakes and ladders
on mobile.
i won and Wan was like:
bf: eh bi! u cheat uh! i slalu dpt snake uh!
bodoh sak game ni!
HAHAH! yelah. i cheated. my phone what. i deserved every right to.

i thought he was just going to collect some baju-baju ke..
skali he came down with some god-forsaken trolley bag
and he had on this come-on-laugh-at-me-because-i-know-you-are-thinking-i-macam-baru-kene-tendang-luar-rumah face.
* controls laughter *
in the end, wan threw away the luggage.
yes people, he went to the dustbin and left the bad there; contents and all.
he said: Tak glam uh bi! tk kan gi tampines mall dgn bende gejadah niee!
waste akunye time gy same je.
Then its off to tamp mall (he was walking happily without the stupid bag.
No regrets whatsoever)
And i bought this really pretty necklace.
i wanted to use a $50 but it cost only like $10?
so he paid for me:) whee.

thats my BIOLboy for you.

Six Feet Under The Stars

2009-03-16T23:21:00.001-07:00

Izwannn!
You are the biol one.
you make me freaking crazy!
You got me lost in Khatib.
You dont let me take the NEL home.
You say im a freaking handicapped.
You ask why i have no pictures of you.
You say that Boon Lay is near Johor.

but i so in love with you!
hahahaha

ILY boy.

I can only sing you sad songs but you can sing along with me

2009-03-07T08:08:00.000-08:00

I sprained my arm.
dammit.

i miss you.
make me better.

If you were me then you'll be, screaming someone shoot me

2009-03-06T15:31:00.000-08:00

Freak shit la.
I scored C for A level malay.
Now i have to re-take that damn paper.
How demoralising is that.
A malay student scoring a C for her own
freaking mother tongue.
Aarghh.
Fucked up world up.
screw this.
Im mugging.

I'm just full of angst.

Savouring a heart that's healing

2009-03-04T22:55:00.000-08:00

I've been sick really often recently.
macam all the time.
Fami's really worried.
He kept saying how i didn't know how
to take care of myself and that he
needs to be here to make sure i eat properly.
Its not that.
My body is just failing on me i think.
food or no food.

School has been effing crazy.
Its all about the paper chase.
(oh. and i need to rob popular soon. My stationery
is mysteriously disappearing)
Tarian, studies, tarian , studies, tarian, studies.
blajar. blajar. blajar.
but i need to push myself further. i know i need to.
Scholarships are important nowadays.
heck. Its just a fucked up world.

A-levels results tomorrow.

"Darling, i love you even though i know i don't
because its the easiest way to heal the pain."

Romeo marry me,i'll never be alone again

2009-02-27T07:56:00.000-08:00

I miss having someone around.
I'm not saying that i miss him.
I just miss the companionship.
Having someone to call my own.
Having someone to protect me.
Having someone to ease my pain.
Maybe its just the status i miss.
The '' he's my boyfriend'' statement.
Something we proudly declare to the whole
damn world.
i just miss having someone there.
I guess i deserved this, you could say.

or maybe I'm just beginning to feel the pain
from yesterday now.

Set off your alarm, Set off all the fire

2009-02-25T06:55:00.000-08:00

Tarian today was ouhkiee.
i think.
Practiced as per normal.
here and there.
Hate the stoopid LT.
Damn stage so the hell unstable.

Rushed to tutoring afterwards
but damn train was freaking packed
i'm serious..
macam nk meletop.
To add to the chaos, the effing train
terminated at Yew Tee. YEW TEE!
of all places. That's like in the middle of nowhere.
So Hanisa and i decided to bounce back to CCK and
when we boarded the next train
it freaking terminated at YEW TEE again!
@!%"$£"*& right?!
urgh!

I'm serious.
Just shoot me.
In the head would be fine.

Pulling a piano out of the pond

2009-02-23T04:30:00.000-08:00

Horrible day today.
Fitness and conditioning.
Damn economics test.
Handicapped debate.
2407080hrs of sastra.

School ended when the sun has set.

uurgh.
someone just shoot me.
today is just a freaking horrible day.

I'm gonna pretend that you never went away

2009-02-21T06:14:00.000-08:00

Everybody deserves a fresh start. A clean break.
Nobody wants to be trapped in something you know
is killing you inside.
I'm wearing thin down to the core.
My spirit is breaking.
You know i am.
But why can't you acknowledge it?
Babe,
i'm not leaving,
just merely moving on..without you.
and it's something that you have to do to.
Love is not about being with that person every minute of the day.
Love is about missing you.
Treasuring every moment with you.
Tasting the sweet and the sour with smiles across our faces.
But i don't feel that with you.
Not anymore.
So you tell now,
how are we going to continue
when what is driving us now is just obligation?
babe,
you were right.
people can't change.
you deserve to be happy.
But i can't lose myself just to give you that.
Then i would just be wasting my time away,
lying to myself,
holding on to something that i know is not real
For now, just get better.
Take your meds.
take care of your health, your heart.
I can't lose you. not yet.
But i can be there, just not as before.
I can't say that i'm not to be blamed for all that has happened.
I'm sorry, i truly am.
But you had a part too.
So lets compromise.
I'm the girl that is and isn't yours.
I'm the girl leaving but with only one foot out the door.
I'm the girl whose heart is learning to love all over again..
maybe for you
maybe for someone else.
but one thing is for sure.
You always be a part of my life.
So let's just leave it at that.